This weekend there is a major celebration happening. My sister is celebrating her 26th birthday.
I know it seems silly to celebrate this occasion as a major milestone but you only get to celebrate your birthday once a year; and for Wendy, I like to pull out all the stops!
Alex, Molly and I bought her a really stellar birthday gift (which she opened today so she could use it at her party on Saturday), and this Friday, I'm making her vegan gluten free cupcakes. She's not a vegan but some of her party guests are so I volunteered my services in her honour.
I like vegan baking. Every time I find a vegan recipe, I'm always reminded of my feeling of scientific discovery. "Can I really make something delicious (and texture appropriate) using no products from animals?" The answer is sometimes.
Like anything, if you leave out or substitute key ingredients, you left with a product that is passable but not always the same as the original. Although this seems like a far-fetched analogy, I'm feeling this way about my life these days. I have all the key ingredients for happiness; but I've made a few substitutions along the way and I don't think that my end product is what I was expecting.
I have always been an approval seeker. As much as I want to deny it, I can't. I inherited this ridiculous trait from my mother. Her condition isn't exactly the same as mine but we are very similar in our general outlook towards others. To make a long story short, I'll cut to the point: I have made many decisions in the last fifteen years of my life to appease the people around me to the point where I think I've missed out on taking the opportunity to be selfish.
*Note: By 'Selfish' I mean that I have never lived on my own or gone anywhere alone. I've never been alone or only looked after myself.
Don't get me wrong, I don't regret my life with Alex for a second. What I'm trying to say is that I'm feeling like now that I have Molly and Alex and the house, I'm mourning the opportunity for me to ever be just ME.
Sure, many can argue that I've had my whole life to take this opportunity and that I have tried (i.e. my life discovering trip to New Zealand two years ago), but it isn't the same. Coming back to it all meant that my experiences were never alone.
Knowing this, will help me manage and overcome.
Can I be on a journey towards happiness with 'vegan' ingredients? Vegans would argue, yes.
I've managed to cut gluten and make things that are delicious. Knowing the chemistry of baking helps me understand what I can augment to make something yummy while keeping tummies and dietary restrictions happy.
I think that realizing where my unhappiness stems from can help me on the journey to make things better. Also, if I really blow it, I may have to crack a few eggs along the way to help me out, but for the vegans, I'll keep to flax meal and applesauce as your finished product. :)
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Cotton Candy Frosting
There are a few simple things in this world that excite me. Like my sister, I like to grocery shop with reckless abandon and buy the weirdest new thing to try. Most of the time, we've come across some winners. Last week, we found a loser.
As per usual, I was shopping for my weekly cupcake adventure when I came across something Duncan Hines calls, "Icing Creations". Basically, you buy an oversized tub of plain frosting and add artificial flavour packets to customize your very own flavour. I bought two packets; pink bubblegum and blue cotton candy. These flavours came at the recommendation of my sister in law, Erica. She and I agreed that Jess would like these flavours best. We were right! Jess loved the cotton candy flavoured icing even though, Erica and I thought it topped the list of probably one of the grossest things each of us have ever eaten (Please note: I've eaten some really gross stuff in my time; including my first attempt at carrot cake- ask Alex about this one).
What really mattered was that Jess had fun and that we tried it. If we hadn't tried something new, how were we to know that it wasn't going to work out or that it was really gross?
Being a first time mom, I'm finding that I have to figure a lot of my life out through trial by fire. These days I'm feeling like I'm getting more fire than actual success. This probably has to do with Molly being a grumpy-pants because she is teething. (Seriously folks, if she doesn't pop out vampire fangs, I'll be surprised. Blood sucking, nocturnal succubus of a baby... I digress).
Trying new things can be scary.
Having children is scary.
Putting these two notions together makes for a terrifying experience but overall a very interesting adventure.
Things that you never thought you were capable of doing start to become simply a way of life. I never thought I'd be able to carry as much crap in my arms as I can but sure enough, not only can I carry the weeks groceries, but I can do this all while holding a 25lb toddler, opening the front door, and shooing off a ferocious kitty cat. I had to try it; and it was a success (I admit, there were some cat scratches on my ankles, and a few broken eggs).
We all fear the unknown. This is the defining feature of what makes human-kind so interesting. Being in search of "The Answer" has led us to form organized religion, great art, and advances in science. Everyday we are all on the precipice of a great frontier into the unknown. Some answers are obvious, some we search for, and some we will never know. At least when we are looking for our answers, we can have some fun doing it. Nothing is more fun that trying bright blue frosting and laughing your face off with your sisters-in-law because it is just so nasty. :)
As per usual, I was shopping for my weekly cupcake adventure when I came across something Duncan Hines calls, "Icing Creations". Basically, you buy an oversized tub of plain frosting and add artificial flavour packets to customize your very own flavour. I bought two packets; pink bubblegum and blue cotton candy. These flavours came at the recommendation of my sister in law, Erica. She and I agreed that Jess would like these flavours best. We were right! Jess loved the cotton candy flavoured icing even though, Erica and I thought it topped the list of probably one of the grossest things each of us have ever eaten (Please note: I've eaten some really gross stuff in my time; including my first attempt at carrot cake- ask Alex about this one).
What really mattered was that Jess had fun and that we tried it. If we hadn't tried something new, how were we to know that it wasn't going to work out or that it was really gross?
Being a first time mom, I'm finding that I have to figure a lot of my life out through trial by fire. These days I'm feeling like I'm getting more fire than actual success. This probably has to do with Molly being a grumpy-pants because she is teething. (Seriously folks, if she doesn't pop out vampire fangs, I'll be surprised. Blood sucking, nocturnal succubus of a baby... I digress).
Trying new things can be scary.
Having children is scary.
Putting these two notions together makes for a terrifying experience but overall a very interesting adventure.
Things that you never thought you were capable of doing start to become simply a way of life. I never thought I'd be able to carry as much crap in my arms as I can but sure enough, not only can I carry the weeks groceries, but I can do this all while holding a 25lb toddler, opening the front door, and shooing off a ferocious kitty cat. I had to try it; and it was a success (I admit, there were some cat scratches on my ankles, and a few broken eggs).
We all fear the unknown. This is the defining feature of what makes human-kind so interesting. Being in search of "The Answer" has led us to form organized religion, great art, and advances in science. Everyday we are all on the precipice of a great frontier into the unknown. Some answers are obvious, some we search for, and some we will never know. At least when we are looking for our answers, we can have some fun doing it. Nothing is more fun that trying bright blue frosting and laughing your face off with your sisters-in-law because it is just so nasty. :)
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